Donuts equal Prozac
by shinidoragon
Summary: What happens when Vash sends Wolfwood out for donuts and gets bored waiting? And other donut-centric pieces. Shounen ai, yaoi, short, pointless, some bright, some not so. WxV, KxL etc.
1. Emotions, or What Goes on in Vash's Head

**Donuts equal Prozac**

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, only the action figures. Which you probably wouldn't want anyway after what I've had them do to each other. Heh. Yasuhiro Nightow. God.

Rating: PG-13 for slight cursing and innuendo out the wazzu (I still don't know what that is, but I like the word anyway. Sounds like some crazy bird to me)

Pairings: WolfwoodXVash, KnivesXLegato (implied)

Notes: The format is a little wonky because I couldn't have all the original little symbols and faces that I had originally, so I had to settle for this: - -. Sorry.

-lemonade- : action, --lemonade-- : expression

This is from Vash's P.O.V. – his inner monologue. Which apparently is very high on sugar.

* * *

I. Want. Revenge. Godamnit! Why can't I just go storm off and be mean and lock him up in the middle of a desert prison while playing 'Oops, I did it again' on repeat for the rest of his life? Oh. Wait. He'd probably like that. 

Plus it wouldn't be very 'Vash like'. And Knives wouldn't get any nookie, and that's just cruel.

Well I. Don't. Care. He creeps me out. Weirdo. Plus he licks my hand – Eww. Probably gets off with it too. Freak.

- pout -

I'm tired of being nice. It gets really annoying after 140 years. And why do I have to be nice to everyone? Especially her...big loudmouthed meanie. Plus she hits me. And calls me a pervert...ok, I can't argue with that. I like the other one though...even if all she ever thinks about is pudding --sweatdrop--

Where is Nicky-cha--n. He has my donuts --sparkle--

Mmmm... - drool - pastry from the heavens!

Milly can have her pudding...I want my freakin' donuts!

- wonder wonder -

Hmm...what's this? Nicky's bag.

--evil smile--

Lets see what Nicky-chan's got. Hey – its fair game. He left it and I'm bored, so there XP

Bullets...well that's obvious, canteen with - shake - no water, another canteen with - shake - water, flask - sniff - with whiskey, lube...chocolate flavored – my favorite --blush-- cigs – death sticks, gah – this is getting boring --sigh--

"Vash!" - bang bang bang - "Vash, you in there?"

Quick – must hide from the evil she hulk. Bathroom!

- door opening -

"I could have sworn he was in here still..." Am not. Go Away!

"Meryl, why is there only one bed?" She's too observant for her own good.

Oh My God...

Please don't find it, please don't find it, please don't find it...

"Well...uh..." - shuffle shuffle - "Why in hell does he have chocolate flavored lube!!!?"

Eep. I'm dead. Crap. Probably get another bruise too...

"I knew it!! He and that dirty good for nothing..." Hey! He is not dirty. But he does smell like cigarettes.

- creak -

"Uh – what are you guys doing in here? Where's Vash?"

Nicky-chan! --big smiles-- Yay! Donuts!

"And why are you holding...my..."

My Donuts! No! She might molest them! I'm coming! I'll save you!

"Vash!?"

- tackle-glomp -

"Nicky!" - kiss - "Donuts!" - kiss - "Bye!"

- whoosh - - Bang -

Haha – they will never penetrate the fortress of – the bathroom. And if they do, I'll jump out the window. – sniff - Oh my precious donuts. Finally Miiiine --smiles--

- chomp -

- hehehe - He looks so cute when he blushes.

"Well I think its very sweet you and Mr. Vash get along so well!" Aww, big girls just so nice. I'll get Wolfwood to buy her some pudding later.

"Are. You. Crazy?!" She isn't, but you are. And mean too.

"Yes. Now come on Meryl, I'll buy you a banana sundae!" - hehe - way to go Millie!

"We'll see you later Bokushisan!"

- drag - shuffle shuffle – slam – shuffle shuffle knock -

"Gonna let me in Tongari?"

- Imp smile -

- creak -

- yank -

"As long as you don't steal my donuts."

* * *

Oh, and for those who don't know, Bokushisan roughly transtlates into Mr. Priest (of the catholic persuasion) I think I just like saying Bokushisan.

Thank you for reading the fruits of my boredom. I might write more donut excursions later. Man, that made me want a donut...


	2. Words and Power Structures

Disclaimer: Don't own Trigun, Yasuhiro Nightow does.

Rating: PG

Pairings: none

Notes: This one is deeper, and hopefully easier to read. Another different format, because I like screwing with it. And 'I played basketball' gets boring.

* * *

"What are you staring at?" 

"This donut."

"Why are you staring at the donut?"

"Because if I eat it, it won't be there anymore."

"So?"

"So I want to know I have power over the donut. It exists as long as I allow it to."

"Why are you doing this Tongari?"

"Because."

"Just because?"

"No. Because I like to have control over my life sometimes."

"Vash, you always find a way to have control over any situation."

"..."

"This isn't just about the donut, is it?"

"No."

"This is about Legato."

"Maybe."

"You want to know what its like to have such power over something, don't you?"

"Perhaps."

"And you chose a donut."

"Yes."

"Over even contemplating about interfering in someone else's life. Even theoretically."

"What would you have me do? How can he do this? He has this power over people. Life and Death. And he chooses to abuse it, where he has no right to!"

"But look Vash. You also have power over people, everyone does to some extent. You also have the power to stop him. Would you sacrifice one for the many? Or let the one live, and others die?"

"I don't want any to die! Everyone deserves to live!"

"Sometimes, Vash, that isn't possible. No matter how much you want it to be."

"There has to be! I have to find a way for it to be..."

"And that is why you are staring at the donut, isn't it? You want to find an answer."

"..."

"Then let me make the decision for you."

"You ate my donut..."


	3. Donuts, The Sentinel Pastry

**Donuts – the sentinel pastry**

Disclaimer: Not mine, although I wish I owned a donut at the moment. Yasuhiro Nightow owns all things Trigun.

Rating: PG, for light swearing

Pairing: none explicit

Notes: strange p.o.v.

* * *

He's already killed most of my brothers and sisters. 

They're dropping like flies in January heat.

The way he's going, there's no hope left for me.

Why is he doing this?

And so quickly?

What have we ever done to him?

There's only 3 of us left.

Why isn't anyone doing anything?

He just killed Fred!

Someone stop him!

Anyone!

Please!

"Uh, Vash?"

Yes! Salvation! Distract him.

"-gulp- Yeah?" Pauses, last one held up to his mouth.

"I thought you were gonna share. Since _I_ was the one who bought them, out of the goodness of my heart."

Noooo, I thought you were gonna help me!

"Oh, -hehe- sorry Wolfwood." The gunman hands over his last donut to the priest, who eats it quite happily.

Damnit! This is not what I meant by 'help'!

* * *

All from the donut's P.O.V, who I have dubbed Bob. Poor Bob. 

I swear, I'm going to start calling this 'how many odd formats can shini come up with before she caves and goes normal'


	4. Like Brother, Like Evil Twin Brother

**Like Brother, Like Evil Twin Brother**

Disclaimer: I do not own Knives (well, not _that_ one anyway) nor Legato. Or anything else Trigun. Or I'd be successful and rich instead of poor and unknown. Yasuhiro Nightow owns all.

Raiting: R, I think. I'm actually really bad with ratings.

Pairing: None, but we all know Legato is Knives' bitch. (I love you both! I wish I had a bitch...)

Notes: Let us take a step away from the ordinary WxV, and experience a new form of love. The twisted kind. Knives and Legato.

* * *

"What pathetic Spider invention is this?" A brown lump with a hole through the middle was sat in front of his sight. 

"A donut Master." A servant answered in an even, deep monotone.

"Ah. So these are the things that give my brother such orgasmic bliss." The ice blue eyes examined the small circular pastry critically.

"Yes Master." Legato continued to stand straight, head bowed, and hands limp at his sides.

"Perhaps I shall try one. Even if they are made by such pathetic beings." The higher being continued to look at the donut, not touching it.

"As you wish Master." Knives turned to his blue haired servant.

"Legato." It was not a question, but a demand, to be taken as a question by the receiver of it.

"Yes Master?" The ever apathetic voice responded in turn.

"Take a bite out of this one first. If it were to be poison, I would be most displeased." Legato lifted his head and Vash's arm, lifting the donut to his mouth and taking a bite. He didn't keel over and die. Knives wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not. Perhaps he was. It was nice having a man-servant with decent powers. And lust for blood. That was a must.

"It is not poisoned, my Master." The servant stood, yellow eyes downcast and arm holding out the proffered pastry.

"As I can see, as you are still among the pathetic hordes of living." A bite was taken. Then another. And one more until the entirety of it was gone.

"Legato." Once again, a statement, not a question, and a raise of a too blonde eyebrow.

"Yes Master?" The voice showed the slightest hint of emotion; amazement.

"I demand more of these 'donuts'." The statement was said firmly, but his ice chip eyes belied a hidden happiness.

"As you wish Master." A very small smirk had made its way onto the psychic's mouth. He smiled internally, he had pleased his master. That meant good things for his sex life.

"No, Legato. As I Demand. Now!"

* * *

eh. I caved. Can't come up with anymore cool new formats. I might repeat some...later. As a side note, this is my first time writing Knives and Legato...and I have to say, it was _Fun_. Tell me if you like the Knives/Legato thing, I might write more of them. Please. 


End file.
